Welcome back to Miti’s Talk or if you like Miti’s Walk 🙂

You’ll see now a special entry, where I open up a part of me, where I feel vulnerable, weak and hopeless… but this project I believe is very important to me for me to be able to move on from the most painful times of my life. I believe this is a way of me stepping onto my healing process. 

Honestly, I don’t know what to do to make this time go easier. I do smile and I am happy in general I guess but I will never be entirely happy because someone is missing from my life, someone so special who filled up my heart and now I feel empty without her. I don’t know how to fill the void.

In end of July I went for my very first hike in Lake District. Was my biggest achievement I ever did.. I needed to do that more than anything, to go out and connect with nature, connect with myself, because I feel so lost, and I hope, me going out will help me find who I am looking for.

The following film will show the places I’ve been and will cut in short parts of my thoughts during my hike. So many times I am just talking without giving too much thought into it, like, “is that actually makes any sense…”

I felt free, no pressure of what I should say or not. These videos are kind of my journal pages, but I am putting it out because leaving my comfort zone behind is a big part of my growth.

This time is my vulnerability is the target. We think, being vulnerable, seeing us cry because we feel pain, and talking about our feelings and emotions, it’s all sign of weakness.

But it is quite the opposite. It’s takes a lot of courage to open up and tell someone what demons we are fighting against.

While I was putting these film together I’ve learned even more about myself than I could have imagined. It was a hard, sad, happy process with a lot of tears. Realised so many things..

Admitting that I am hurt..

For me it was very hard… to putting this whole little videos together to make a whole, make one. I am not a filmmaker by any means but I tried my best to create something enjoyable and value to your journey.

Battling then and now with so many emotions. Going through it all again, having those feelings back; but the changes I made on myself the last 6+ months is actually incredible because, watching and listening myself I feel love for the person on the screen. I can feel compassion and love when I see myself being so childlike and happy when I start this hike, being so hyped about what I’ve just started.. And talking about pain, opening up about my emotions .. All I wanna do is go back in time and give myself a hug 🙂 and whisper to my own ears that:

I got you” and “everything is going to be alright.

(Is it now? Hell no, but today I believe it will be!).

And that changed: starting to love myself.

In this film, there are clips when I recorded my thoughts in extremely hard circumstances, and I am gasping for air 🙂 I used music from @Neffex, because their music I can resonate with a lot and also copyright free 🙂 Also, I edited in some previously recorded quotes what I felt fits in.

Please enjoy this film of my journey. 🙂

Peace&Love

Miti