I want to believe that I am becoming more fearless. More in touch with what is mine and what I want to keep inside of me. And what I want to believe in and create.

I am becoming what I want to let go of, especially that were given to me by others living in fear!

I am becoming more open as I was before, and hard to admit still but more in love with myself and becoming (day by day) able to let go of anything that doesn’t serve the endless possibility within me.

But it wasn’t like this always.. Still a long way to go, but every day I am becoming stronger .

I am still having my old belief system, just handling it better 🙂

I am learning a lot lately, and I had to realise my belief system, my values are/were carrying me down on my path that is not the direction I wanted to go at this point in my life.

I’m talking about the bad beliefs now, not the good once if there are any…

Even had to realise, I don’t think that I have any values at all… No boundaries.. And all the bad thoughts. Learnt that what lives inside of me that creates those roadblocks and insecurities for me and doesn’t even belong to me.

It comes from other people. From parents, friends, first relationships and colleagues. The people that DIDN’T show up, other people’s pain. Other people’s fears.

I became who I am now with all the bad and good qualities because how others affected me.

I’m not saying that I want to blame them for all the bad beliefs I have today and all the bed decisions i made or haven’t made in my past.  The only person can be blamed for it it’s ME.

Other’s Opinion Does not Become Your Reality.

When someone pushes their opinion about you to you. It won’t be true until you make it true.

The moment I take in that opinion of me, the moment I adopt those opinions; it becomes my belief and I’ll start to live by that. My belief responsible for all the decision I made (and today) in my life. I was living ‘in hold’. I let my life to be lead by others. Any criticisms I get I take it in straight away and I take it as it is true.

But once again, others opinion does not become my reality. Listen and learn from others of course but I don’t take for granted everything anymore.

While I’m writing this I’m having a conversation with a friend and we ended up talking about exactly the same thing how others told her there is no approval by them in something in her personality by them and how she “has” to change. If we can’t take others into our life the way they are then we have to walk away. We don’t realise how much we hurt each other and ruining lives. Any kind of relationships needs compromises, learning about each other, but never wanting them to change for our own sake’s.  Helping them  change because they asked for our support it’s called friendship to me.

Others always told me (and still today) what they don’t like in me and how I supposed to be changing to make them like me more. And I did believe them and worked so hard to change for them. But that never was good enough, they would have find something else to be not acceptable for them and wanting me to change. Started to hate myself. For real.

I always was seeking for their approval. Always trying to please others. Never myself.

• I am childish, I am too friendly for my position, or became too bossy, I am irresponsible, I am not good enough, or my look, I have small boobs, I am a pussy, or when my reaction of a behaviour is not right for them, trying to making me believe that the way I ‘ behave’ it’s wrong – for them, I talk too fast, I get excited too easily for anything really, and they always think i am stressing or panicking because I move too fast…. 

I am a forever child and I won’t change about that. I don’t want to. And I know now I am good enough and I am capable of anything what I put my mind into. I won’t let anybody ever again to make me think less of myself.

The belief system is the most important part of my life right now, and to be honest I think it will always be. This is my biggest priority. Because it’s effecting me the most, and every decision I make and every step I take.

To really love myself will allow me to love others. But that can be done only if I turn my belief system around.

I’d like to finish my thought with the following:

“You are love

Love is you

With love for yourself

Love for others will bloom.”

Peace&Love

Miti