At the beginning of December I was “banned” from training for a week. I burned out. Had no energy and couldn’t improve.
Did too much.
But before I felt I’m doing awesome. Lot training and everything.
But then things came into the picture, got very tired at work so I started to miss sessions and my own workouts I couldn’t organise either. So 2.5 weeks went by and maybe two times a week I managed to go to gym.
So, started to go to my head.
I’m going through some shit, just like everyone else.. Learning about myself a lot, everyday and sometimes I don’t handle it the best way.
The last couple of days hit the peak what I do carry since my Burned out situation. It pulled me down. As, instead of improving I’ve got weak. Made mistakes, learnt from it. But those thoughts are became feelings and emotions.
They’re very powerful and sometimes they are just like a snowball on the hill. On the top small and has no weight but as its rolling down the hill getting bigger and bigger..
That’s happened now. I got to the point where my thoughts started to go dark. I knew what I have to do to turn them around. But they are so heavy on me, and I have no power to do anything. So, kinda fell into a circle and I felt I just can’t move.
And then I moved. I went to train. I knew it that it will be hard but it’s a must!
I wanted to feel pain in my body – and believe me, I did – I wanted feel the pain, and not from my thoughts .. I pushed myself to the limits. My body was screaming of joy literally.
Running, Rowing, Lifting, even Burpees.. Step machine… Oh the Step Machine (True Love).. It hurts. Damn it does!
But I just close my eyes while I’m doing certain workouts, focusing on my breath and the movement… just concentrating on my technique and the pain.
That happened last night as well. Had a session with Daniel (@b.I.Fit). Had too much rest the last 2.5 weeks so I knew it won’t be easy. But I am extremely happy! And I mean it. Not just because in that workout became the second best. Yaaaay. But because I realised how much I missed this feeling.
Still not perfect though, my thoughts are there about myself. The way I see myself are not good, but while I was middle of the training, doing squats (because every day is a Bum Day) I felt that those thoughts fading away. They are there, but felt less power over me! And this gave me so much energy to push myself more. I didn’t want to finish training.. Well, my body had a different opinion :).
Training makes me feel amazing. Makes me feel better about myself and about others too.
Then, when I’ve got home, I’VE MANAGED TO DO EVERYTHING I wanted the last 3 weeks. And this is everything! This is what exercising does to me!
Making me achieving things! My goals.
For me this whole Fitness is much more then body transformation. It is the main tool for my personal growth. The base to it. And why? Because I’m learning self-discipline, learning to take control over my body and mind.
Won’t be always successful and easy and will be there step backs and difficulties, but I’ll welcome them and look at them as a possibility to learn and get better then I was.
Making mistakes means that I am on the right path, just need to make some adjustments to order to achieve my goals!
Mistakes are actually not failures. They are tools in my life to create something greater than me. First lesson is that stop being angry when I’m making a mistake!
I’ll finish up with a following thought:
Optimist: someone who figures that taking a step backward after taking a step forward is not a disaster, it’s more like a cha-cha.
From my very best I try to enjoy my journey and look at it as I am dancing to my goals 🙂
“Dance your way”
Peace&Love
Miti