This post meant to be much more angrier but the more I thought about it the more calm I’ve got. Although, it doesn’t change the thing that mean people should chill their tits out before they speak because they have no idea what they might cause with they ignorance and harmful words. So much pain.

People quite often harm each other, on purpose. (in other news, the sky is blue!).

But why is this? Why do people so often want to hurt and harm others?

There is much truth in the popular belief that people are mean to others in order to feel better about themselves.

People cope with negative views of themselves by perceiving other people as having particularly high levels of the same negative view. Basically, they have those negative qualifies and they see it in you. I understand this as a reflection.

It is threatened self-esteem that drives a lot of aggression. In other words, it doesn’t really matter if people feel good or bad about themselves in general. What matters is that people, in that moment, are feeling worse about themselves than usual.

We tend to be more aggressive when our self-worth has been challenged and we are not feeling particularly positive about ourselves. When we insult or criticise someone else, it may say more about how we are feeling about ourselves then the other person.

It’s called emotional abuse. And we should avoid those who abuse us.

They may feel attacked or defensive or just angry. People often do not know how to deal with negative emotions. We are taught to classify the world into good or bad, only there are good guys and bad guys and the line is clear. The truth is we are both and there is a lot of gray.

Because we can’t acknowledge the bad in ourselves, we deny it. We pretend it doesn’t exists and we accuse others of traits we have disowned. Our negative emotions build and fester until they explode. It is immature and irresponsible to blame others for our problems.

These are defence mechanisms and they are there to protect us from pain but they may also keep us from truth and the ability to solve our problem. It is our job to become self-aware about our emotions and action towards to others.

And we are giving too much power to others.

Giving them power over our emotions, mind, lives.

We are giving too much power to other’s opinion of us.

We let people’s words to hurt us. We believe them when they say very mean things and we’re giving weight to those words so they become our thoughts, feelings, emotions, beliefs, pain.

Other’s Opinion Does not Become Your Reality.

We can’t change people to be more kind to each other, but we can change how much we are letting those people and to those words to hurt us.

People will always disappoint us, even those who we thought we knew and maybe were friends or sometimes our partners and family members… But we have to learn not to allow them to make us feel bad about ourselves, to feel worthless, to think we’re not good enough. Don’t let ourselves to believe them, don’t allow them to hurt us just to make them feel better about themselves.

Everyday is a possibility to learn about ourselves and others. Many times will be painful.

Me personally, trying not to get to the same level as they are. Wanna say !FUCK THE HATERS! And you know what, I’ll say it. Because I know I never made anyone – well, sure not on purpose – to feel nothing, worthless and well in one way to say: shit AF.

No one is perfect and everyone has their flaws. We are all going through hard times and having issues to deal with… We’ll say or do things what will be rude and harm someone, we might didn’t even mean it, we were just angry at the moment. Or we will be drunk when we do (which not justify our actions – alcohol loosen up us, our personality, and allow us to become who we really are, or what we really want to do or say).

But just because all above doesn’t mean we have the right to hurt each other on purpose, just because others don’t meet with our enquires, expectations or not agree with us.

I started to look into a mirror when it comes to anger towards to someone else. This way I can learn much more about myself and others too. It’s a long process and can be very painful realising all those things, but will worth it I’m sure.

Let’s finish up these thoughts with the following:

Insecurity over ourselves drives much of the cruelty in the world.

Be kind to each other.

Peace&Love

Miti